April 18: Epic Fail, aka Sausage, Chard and Lemon Lasagna

Friends: it was bound to happen. A meal gone terribly wrong. This blog would be totally boring with out one, but I promise you -- I didn't throw this one. It was a valiant effort that failed miserably. I should have known by the recipe's comments (if you look at the linked recipe, you'll see what I mean). I almost always read the comments -- they usually have helpful tips and information about the recipe. But alas, I skipped reading them this time. And paid for it.

After getting swiss chard in our produce box, we decided to make a sausage, chard and lemon lasagna recipe I found online.

Some AWESOME looking rainbow chard. Pretty jazzy, huh?

I chopped up the swiss chard, removing the stems. Paul got to work cooking the meat. We used a sweet turkey sausage.

Meat makes everything better, right? Or at least saves a bad dish a little...

I worked on the white sauce -- flour, milk, cheese, salt and pepper. Everything seems to be going okay...and then we get to the lemons. The instructions tell you to take a thinly sliced lemon (note: nothing about taking the peel off), cover with water in a saucepan and boil for about 7 minutes. "Okay, " I'm thinking, "That probably softens them up and makes it easier to eat. I've never eaten the outside of a lemon. Weird, but I'll go with it." 

FATAL MISTAKE. I may have cut the lemons slightly thicker than "thinly sliced," but in no way were they thick slices.

You can see the culprits there in the background. Just sitting innocently waiting their turn. IT'S A RUSE. Et tu, lemons?

Unaware of imminent disaster, we carried on. I added the chard to the white sauce. 

Just hanging out, being tasty. No idea what was about to befall the lasagna.

Everything was ready to go -- the oven was preheated, so we started to assemble the lasagna. We had done regular lasagna noodles instead of the no-boil ones suggested. You layered noodle, meat, sauce, lemons, and so on.

Looking good so far...

We had more meat than sauce, so I was a little stingy with it. We filled the dish and had some leftover, so spilled into a smaller square baking dish. 

Still looking good. Can't complain...

You finish the dish with lemons, noodles, sauce, lemons.

I was like, "Wow! This could be really neat!" Stupid.

Right at this point, Paul received a call from a friend who had an extra ticket to the Bulls playoff game. He (unknowingly, but wisely) jumped ship to go to the game. The hot dog he ate was probably 100 times better than what was about to transpire in our kitchen.

The pasta cooked for the suggested 27 minutes, and I broiled it, topped with cheese for an additional 3 minutes. It doesn't look too bad here...

A little blurry, but you get the cheesy, melty point.

I was pretty hungry, and very excited to give this a try. You could smell the cheese and the cooked sausage, and it looked quite pretty. 

I took a big bite -- and immediately tasted the bitterness of the lemons. Oh man. It was not good. I tried another bite -- maybe I just had a weird part with more of the lemon than the other side. Nope. Still not good. Like REALLY not good. 

Save yourself, Paul!

I pulled off all the lemons as best I could, and was able to eat the rest. Some of the bitterness remained, but with the lemons being removed -- it was a heck of a lot better. Thankfully, the second, smaller batch did not have any lemons -- by some twist of fate, I had used them all on the first round -- and the second lasagna remained unscathed. My taste buds, not so much. 

Lesson learned: I should have trusted my instincts and cut the peel off. It doesn't appear to be a mistake in the recipe (the picture shows the lemons with their peels on), but were we to make this again (doubtful), I would definitely make that change.